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almost half way there

Day 10 – 135.2 lbs – 500 Calorie Day. Well, I’m back to the weight I was right after the workout yesterday morning. I think, in future days, I won’t weigh myself after the workout. This way, I can say that I truly did go down .8 lbs since yesterday morning. That feels better in my psyche. OK, so I have lost exactly 8 lbs in 10 days. Do I notice a change in how my pants fit? Eh, maybe. I notice that my stomach is flatter, and I notice that I always feel empty. I notice that I don’t want to play this game forever, but I realize that I HAVE to change the way I look at and feel about food in general. I can’t spend my life eating in desperate spurts. There IS no urgency. Food is plentiful. It’s not going anywhere. I don’t need to eat like it’s my last meal. In general, I need to slow down and savor everything I eat. And I need to eat only those things that I KNOW I love and that will make me feel good…. in my mind and in my body. That’s what I’m hoping this program will do for me. It would be nice if this got rid of my cellulite too, but that’s probably too much to ask for. poop.

I just got off the phone with my friend who is also doing this HCG crap. She lost nearly 25 lbs the last time she did the diet. She HAD more to lose then, though. This time around, she has not lost a pound. Come to find out, she ate like a normal person on Mother’s Day. Good for her! Maybe I should have done the same. Maybe then I wouldn’t have have such horrible thoughts and feelings that day! She’s just maintaining her weight right now, but hoping for a little more. She sounded a little frustrated, but was glad to get this off her chest and recommit. We had a great, hour long talk about our food issues, weight issues, body issues, and isuues about how we feel about our husbands feeling about our bodies. 🙂 It’s all good. My hubby, I am very sure, loves me, and even likes me. He doesn’t have a problem with my body. Atleast, nothing stops him from lovin’ on me frequently. 🙂 But HE is very, very health conscious and slender. He is physically active and competetive when it comes to his performance in sports. He is ALWAYS trying to get better and faster and stronger at whatever it is he is doing. He wishes I was more like this. Unfortuntely, I’m not. I never HAVE been competetive… with myself OR with others. I like being along for the ride and enjoying life. I enjoy staying active and busy, but I hate regiments and requirements. Can’t I just eat my waffles and crepes! And cookies and muffins. And pies and buttered rolls. (seeing a pattern?) Anyway, I had a great talk with my friend. It was so nice to share feelings and frustrations. I am more motivated to stick with this….. just until the shots are done. Heaven help me to maintain afterwards!

Sitting right in front of me are 2 Russell Stover Sugar Free Pecan Delights. I haven’t touched them. I’m testing my mental strength. I’ll let you know how that goes!

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